Spoiler: Your good intentions are backfiring spectacularly...
Hey Reader,
Welcome to Week Two.
A popular question I get: “Mother Nature, I’m feeling guilty about this plastic water bottle. Should I continue to reuse it instead of throwing it away to give it a longer useful life?”
Short answer: No.
Long answer: Nooooooo.
Let me explain why your guilt is making things worse.
The Guilt Cycle
Here’s what happens: You buy a plastic water bottle. You drink it. You look at the empty bottle and think, “I’m not a monster. I’ll reuse this thing until it falls apart.”
So you refill it. Repeatedly. Until it makes that crinkling sound when you squeeze it. You know that moment when you can feel the bottle getting all flimsy and weird? That’s the bottle slowly shedding microplastics and chemicals into your water. The same water you wouldn’t dream of drinking straight from the tap because “who knows what’s in there?”
Every time you refill it, every time you squeeze it, every time you wash it with hot water, you’re creating a microplastic cocktail. But there’s no happy hour.
The Takeout Container Dilemma
Same thing happens with takeout containers. You order Thai food, eat half, and think, “This container is practically new! I’ll use it for meal prep.”
Bad news: Most takeout containers are made from polypropylene (#5) or PET (#1). Now, polypropylene is “recyclable” the same way a cactus is “low maintenance.” Technically true, but I watch you kill those prickly things on the regular. (How hard is it for you to water every two weeks?)
Most recycling programs only want #1 and #2 plastics. And even when they do accept #5, one pad thai-stained container can contaminate an entire batch of recycling faster than Alan in Accounting can take down the office with his sneezing. (It’s not just “allergies,” Alan.)
But more importantly, they’re not designed for long-term use. They’re designed to hold your pad thai for exactly as long as it takes you to get home and eat it.
Even containers labeled "microwave safe" only claim to not melt into your food. They don't guarantee they won't leak chemicals into it. Remember that elementary school experiment where you put a crayon in the oven and watched it melt? The way that waxy, chemical scent lingered in the air? (Bet you didn’t know that crayons were made out of petroleum.)
But, Mother Nature, I know better than to heat up plastic!
Settle down. That greasy film you can’t wash off your old container isn’t just stubborn sauce. That’s the container itself breaking down. Those scratches you see after a few washes aren’t just cosmetic. They’re highways for bacteria and exit ramps for plastic particles.
The Types You Definitely Shouldn’t Reuse
Black takeout containers: These are in a league of their own. Ever wonder why you’re not supposed to put these in the dishwasher? It’s not just because they might melt. It’s because the heat causes them to leach flame retardants and other chemicals from recycled electronics. Yes, electronics. Your kung pao chicken container used to be a Blackberry circa 2008. Bon appétit!
Styrofoam anything: This stuff starts falling apart the moment you look at it wrong.
Single-use water bottles: The clue is in the name. Single. Use.
Yogurt cups: These are designed to hold yogurt exactly once. Not become your new coffee mug.
The Real Solution
I know this is hard to hear, but the answer isn’t to reuse plastic containers until they disintegrate. The answer is to use fewer plastic containers in the first place.
Invest in a reusable water bottle. Bring your own containers to restaurants. Yes, the server will look at you funny. (You’ll survive.)
I know, I know. It requires forethought. But the alternative is consuming a credit card worth of plastic each week, while those tiny particles wreak havoc in your body like a four-year-old on a Halloween candy bender.
- Brain Fog: Forgetting your keys, your passwords, or your glasses on top of your head.
- Hormone Havoc: Endocrine disruptors hijacking your mood, sleep, fertility, and metabolism. Half the pills in your cabinet (even the little blue one) might be fixing problems that plastics helped create.
- Immune System Confusion: Your immune cells panicking at the presence of microplastics and launching an attack while real threats slip right past. That’s why you break out in random hives while the flu strolls right in.
- Digestive Drama: Blaming it on “getting older” or your lifestyle choices, but the Paleo diet can only do so much. Cavemen weren’t eating plastic.
- Cardiovascular Chaos: Microplastics showing up in veins and arteries, some of the smallest highways in your body. Wouldn’t you rather clog them with bacon grease?
Don’t feel bad about throwing away a container that was designed to be thrown away. Feel bad about buying it in the first place.
Then buy something better next time. Progress, not perfection.
Mother Nature
P.S. Next week: Why it takes 1,800 gallons of water to create one pair of jeans that makes your butt look good.
P.P.S. Missed Week One? Don’t worry, we recycle. You can find it here.
Know someone who's been drinking from the same water bottle since last Tuesday? Forward this.
Know someone who microwaves styrofoam? Pray for them.
